Grieving

It has been 3 weeks now and the empty place still exist.  The weeks go by very fast and my weekly visits to Laquita are no longer.  I must admit I used to dread those visits and sometimes put them off but now that she is gone , I really miss seeing her.   I know her quality of life was horrible and I would not have wished her one more day on this earth just so I could see her.  I do believe in God and I know she is with him now, and maybe a little jealous that her life is so much better than mine.  No, No, I am not saying I am ready to pass, but am happy to know that she will be waiting along with my Mom and Dad when I do.  

I lost my oldest sister last friday and it has left me with an empty place in my heart.  I find myself struggling with the blues although I know she is in a much better place and she had had such a low quality of life and was ready to go home.   The feelings I am experienceing is much different than the feeling I experienced when I lost my mother and dad,.